How to Outfox Your Friends When You Don't Have a Clue by Jess Keating (English)

Description: How to Outfox Your Friends When You Don't Have a Clue by Jess Keating Local Denver Zoo celebrity Ana has finally found a job behind the scenes creating a documentary for her English class. Shes also getting the best present ever-her BFF Liv is visiting from New Zealand! FORMAT Paperback LANGUAGE English CONDITION Brand New Publisher Description But when Ana puts Liv, her new best friend Bella, and enemy-turned-friend Ashley together, her friendship spheres collide in a messy way. Especially when Liv finds out that Ashley, her former nemesis, and Ana are friends-before Ana can explain herself. With no one getting along and her thirteenth birthday party fast approaching, Anas animal kingdom is even more chaotic than usual. Author Biography As an author and zoologist, Jess Keating has tickled a shark, lost a staring contest against an octopus, and been a victim to the dreaded paper cut. She lives in Ontario, Canada, where she spends most of her time writing books for adventurous and funny kids. Her first fiction novel How to Outrun a Crocodile When Your Shoes Are Untied received a Starred Review from Kirkus and has been nominated for a Red Maple award. Visit her online at jesskeating.com. Review "A pleasing story about the trials of friendship, first boyfriends, and what it means to truly start growing up." - Booklist "Keating has crafted another engaging work that will speak to readers anxious about navigating social situations-and the fun animal factoids interspersed add to the fun," - School Library Journal "With her trademark kid-oriented wit and lighthearted touch, Keating leads readers through the daily emotional ups and downs of the typical just-turned-teenager who is trying to juggle hormones, parents, schoolwork, and, most importantly, her friends...A sweet reminder that being middle school girl is about far more than boys and makeup. -Kirkus, starred review " - Kirkus Long Description Ages 9 to 12 Years Even living in a zoo doesnt prepare Ana for her current menagerie of mishaps Local Denver Zoo celebrity Ana has finally found a job behind the scenes creating a documentary for her English class. Shes also getting the best present ever--her BFF Liv is visiting from New Zealand! But when Ana puts Liv, her new best friend Bella, and enemy-turned-friend Ashley together, her friendship spheres collide in a messy way. Especially when Liv finds out that Ashley, her former nemesis, and Ana are friends--before Ana can explain herself. With no one getting along and her thirteenth birthday party fast approaching, Anas animal kingdom is even more chaotic than usual. Review Text "With her trademark kid-oriented wit and lighthearted touch, Keating leads readers through the daily emotional ups and downs of the typical just-turned-teenager who is trying to juggle hormones, parents, schoolwork, and, most importantly, her friends...A sweet reminder that being middle school girl is about far more than boys and makeup. -Kirkus, starred review " - Kirkus Reviews Review Quote "With her trademark kid-oriented wit and lighthearted touch, Keating leads readers through the daily emotional ups and downs of the typical just-turned-teenager who is trying to juggle hormones, parents, schoolwork, and, most importantly, her friends...A sweet reminder that being middle school girl is about far more than boys and makeup. -Kirkus, starred review " - Kirkus Reviews Excerpt from Book Chapter 1 Red foxes communicate with each other by making "scent posts," by peeing on trees or rocks to announce their presence. --Animal Wisdom Oh, gross! Imagine if humans communicated with each other like that. Everywhere you went youd have to pee on everything. Id much rather announce my presence with an awesome sound track like when celebrities walk onstage during talk shows. In fact, I wish I had a cool sound track that followed me everywhere, so I sounded supercool every time I entered a room. That beats peeing, right? Know whats crazy? In exactly nine days, four hours, and nineteen minutes, I am going to change. And I dont mean like a tiny, silly change, like getting a haircut, or finding a pair of pants that makes your butt look awesome (although I wouldnt turn that down), or even finding out that you aced a math exam for the first time in your life, so you can actually impress your supercute genius boyfriend with your whip-smart intelligence for once. No. I mean a big change. Teenager big. Thats right. This is the last week of my life that I will be a non-teenager. I mean, at least until I turn twenty, but thats a million years away still, so it doesnt count. But next week? Im the big one three. Say it with me: thir-teen. The teen is right there in the word. Not to brag, but I think Im handling it pretty well. I havent had any meltdowns about getting old yet, and I was only mildly wigged out when I caught Mom looking at photo albums of Daz and I as babies with shiny tears in her eyes. I mean, its not like Im dying or anything, right? Just turning thirteen. Even though Ill never be "preteen" again for the rest of my life. And Ill never be able to order stuff on the kids menu at Spaghetti Joes again, because they are seriously strict about that age cutoff nonsense on the menu, and I love the mini-meatballs they make especially for the kids plate. And being thirteen will mean Im officially too old to get into movies at the supercheap price, which is a real shame considering it costs more than my allowance for even one stupid ticket. Thats not even counting the popcorn. What good is a movie without popcorn? Ugh. Maybe I should think about the positive side of thirteen. Like how in all the movies, its when the kid turns thirteen that they find out they have superpowers or are demigods and all that. Maybe Im a week away from finding out Dad is actually a Greek god. Being thirteen might not be so bad if I can control lightning bolts, right? Of course, most almost-thirteen-year-olds dont also have to instruct their friends on how to avoid getting drooled on by a giraffe, but hey, welcome to my life. "Hold your hand flat," I said, shoving Ashleys arm farther over the chain-link fence. She was gripping the clump of alfalfa hay so tightly, her knuckles were white. Both of my parents work at the zoo, so as long as I ask the keepers, Im usually allowed to hang out with the animals if my homework is done. "Shes going to bite off my hand, I know it," Ashley said, edging closer to me. "Do they eat meat too?" The funny thing about being friends with your former nemesis is that every so often, you can get a real kick out of scaring them with totally non-scary things. Like innocent giraffes. "Only when theyre extra hungry," I said, keeping my voice low and serious. "And you have to watch out for their fangs," I added. "Theyre retractable, and if they bite you, you could be dead within thirty seconds. Its a special mammal venom." "What?!" Ashley yelped. She stumbled back, dropping the handful of hay to the ground as she tripped over my toes. "Are you freakin kidding me?! Youve got me sticking my hand out to some monster with fangs, whats wrong with--" I smirked. The way Ashleys eyebrows squished together like little angry caterpillars always made me giggle. The realization that I was messing with her dawned on her face as I picked up the hay and handed it to Paisley, who happily responded by licking my hand clean with her dark-blue tongue. I bit my lip to keep from laughing, but that didnt stop the snort from escaping. Times like this, I wish I could plaster a fake halo above my head to play up the innocent part. "Youre the worst," she huffed, brushing off her knees. She glared at me, but unlike six months ago, it wasnt a real glare, where she wanted me to drop dead. It was more of a playful glare. At least it was playful compared to what I know Ashleys glares are capable of. Back in seventh grade, a patented Ashley glare was enough to make me lose two years of my life span. Three Things I Didnt Know about My Former Nemesis until I Accidentally-on-Purpose Jumped into a Shark Tank over the Summer to Save Her from Embarrassment 1. Even though Ashley used to seriously hate me (and yeah, I admit, I didnt like her either and almost embarrassed her in front of a massive crowd of people at the zoo), we actually arent that different. We both agree on the importance of a good lip gloss (although I prefer the ones that arent all shiny and she loves those ones). And we also both love hammerhead sharks. Lip gloss and hammerhead sharks might seem like a weird combo, but maybe that right there is why we ended up friends after all. 2. Ashley is crazy good at picking out clothes and doing her hair, and its not because she naturally looks great all the time like some sort of perma-photoshopped model. She actually spends time doing it, the way some people study math or learn how to garden. Dont get the wrong idea though--Im a total fashion dont myself, which is why its pretty cool to have someone in my life who knows the difference between boot cut and straight cut. And no, I dont remember it, so dont ask me. 3. A few months ago when school started, I was worried that despite being friends in the summer, she was going to morph back into a Sneerer and throw chicken parm at me like old times. But you know what? She didnt. I have this theory that the minute someone jumps into a shark tank to save you from embarrassment, youre bonded for life. Ashley must agree too, because even though shes had lots of chances to make fun of me in school, instead she just blinks at me and shakes her head when I do something goofbally, like try to do the robot dance in the hallway. Sometimes you need to dance. "You know, you should be thankful Im even interested in feeding some smelly giraffe," she huffed. "I dont see anyone else here with you, do you? Like you dont get enough of the weird animals at home now." "Yeah, yeah," I said, wiping the giraffe drool onto my jeans. She wasnt exactly wrong. Ever since wed moved out of the zoo when summer ended, it was sort of weird not to wake up to the sound of grumpy lions in the morning. Too bad I couldnt trade my weirdo twin brother, Daz, for them. I handed her a chunk of sweet potato. "Here, try this. She likes it more than the hay." Ashley held her palm flat like I had showed her, sucking in a breath when Paisley nuzzled her snout along her fingertips to grab it. "There you go," she cooed to the giraffe. "See, youre much nicer than mean old Ana says. I bet shes just miffed Kevin hasnt kissed her yet, isnt she?" She glanced at me haughtily and cocked an eyebrow. "For the hundredth time," I said, "I am not upset about not kissing Kevin yet! I told you, Im done trying to make that happen. And we have a perfectly good time not kissing, thankyouverymuch." Honestly, despite what you might have heard about almost-thirteen-year-old girls, we arent obsessed about boys the way all those girlie magazines seem to think we are. I mean, yeah. I think Kevin is awesome, and he still gives me that swirly-vertigo feeling when he stares at me with his dark eyes after his mom drops us off from our group date, but seriously, how much good night kissing can you expect to do with your idiot brother whooping from the bushes telling you to "get a room"? It was bad enough when we lived in the zoo next to the hippos, but it turns out that living back in our old house is just as embarrassing. "Are you not even a little interested to see what its like? Youve been together for months! I mean, were pretty much women now," Ashley said, searching for a carrot and carefully holding it out for Paisley. The way she said "women" made my stomach turn. Its funny. I could see myself as a little kid because I have pictures of what I used to look like. (Yes, the pigtails and goofball glasses were totally embarrassing. Thank the lemurs for contact lenses.) But when it came to picturing myself as a grown-up? Thats a whole other story. I had no pictures to look at; how could I possibly know how I should be as a "woman"? Would I look like Mom? Would I know how to walk in high heels like those ladies on the red carpet in Hollywood? Are we supposed to know how to magically become teenagers too? Am I going to wake up one morning and know that its the right time to kiss Kevin for the first time? Will I know how to put on dark eyeliner without jabbing myself in the eye so Mom doesnt think I woke up with pinkeye too? The whole thing was exhausting. I shook my head, confused by the image of me as a grown-up. "I told you. Ive learned my lesson." I put the plastic lid on Paisleys food container and clicked it shut. "The last time I tried to grow up at warp speed and kiss him, I head-butted him." Ashleys lips squished together. "I know I promised you I would never laugh at that, but..." Her mouth quivered. "And then"--I lifted my eyebrows, drawing out the moment--"he got a noseb Details ISBN1492617946 Author Jess Keating Short Title HT OUTFOX YOUR FRIENDS WHEN YO Publisher Sourcebooks Jabberwocky Language English ISBN-10 1492617946 ISBN-13 9781492617945 Media Book Format Paperback DEWEY FIC Year 2015 Series My Life Is A Zoo Pages 304 Imprint Sourcebooks, Inc Place of Publication Naperville Country of Publication United States Audience Age 9-12 Publication Date 2015-10-22 Series Number 3 Audience Children/Juvenile We've got this At The Nile, if you're looking for it, we've got it. With fast shipping, low prices, friendly service and well over a million items - you're bound to find what you want, at a price you'll love! TheNile_Item_ID:158590367;

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